Bitef

Носи da verujem da sve sto cinim u toku procesa rada na predstavi otvara pregrst mogucnosti na umetnickom putu. Nekada se godinama luta u zatvorenom krugu istrazlvanja i ne mogu se ni nazretl vrata koja trazis . Zelja da se otkrije, nadje, prepozna, nekada bude tako agresivna u umetnickom procesu da svojom snagom gusi sam proces. Posle 15 godina rada u DAHTeatru tokom rada na ovoj predstavi sam svesno bila prepustena, neorganizovana i uzdrzana. Bila sam suprotno od onoga sto ja uglavnomjesam. Ali tu se postavlja pitanje sta sam sve ja? Kako iznova sebe iznenadjivati, pa sve to kroz godine rada nenametljivo nuditi usvakoj novoj predstavi. Spajala sam cinicnu, toplu i strasno nesretnu Masu izCehovljeve TriSestre sa ritualima caja i svedocima iz voza 671 za Strpce, doksam se borila sa velikim tekstom о propalim dvilizacijama koje su obelezile Ijudski rod i mnogo toga VELIKOG i kreativnog ucinile za sve nas. Sve nas koji nemamo snage da nesto promenimo u svojim zivotima, drzavama, ili na ovoj pianeti. Sve nas koji aktivno ili nemo, svejedno, ucestvujemo u ratovima. Sve nas koji pristajemo na nesto sto ne zelimo, a vreme proiazi. Mogia sam da imam impuls da sveto intelektualno povezem i opravdam, ali nisam htela tako... Ja sam glumica i mojzadatakje da udahnem i diserri sve te teme zajedno. Morala sam da nadjem svoj nacin. Prepustena, neorganizovana i uzdrzana, bez pravljenja pianova kako da slazem svoje glumacke materijaie, jednog sam dana u tisini pozorisnog presterà, posle mnogo meseci rada na ovoj predstavi, za mene potpuno iznenada, odjednom, SHVATILAJ Otkrice je bilo krajnje jednostavo, ali predamnom.. Vodiloje na mesto duboke tuge.Tuge koja inhibirá, tuge nasledja,tuge koja te sprecava da kupis kartu i "sednes u voz"...i odes u mesto svojih snova.Tuge koja te cini nemocnim, pa tako postajes nemim svedokom zlocina. Upravo taj momenat SHVATANJAje mesto u umetnickom procesu gde se desava promena u glumcu kada se i otkriva nacin dejstvovanja na sceni. U ovom trenutku, dok ovo pisem, mesec dana pred premijeru, proces jos uvek traje, bolán je, rediteljka slaze svoju pricu, razne teme se povezuju u jednu, ija brizno treperim nad predstavom. Mima sam u otkricu neeega potpuno novog sto je obuhvatiio celo moje bice! Maja Mitic I want to beiieve that all I do in thè process of thè work on a performance opens a whole spectrum of possibilities within the artistic way. Sometimes foryears you wander in a closed circle of research, and cannot glimpse thè dooryou are actually searching for. The desire to discover, find, recognize, is sometimes so aggressive in the artistic process that it chokes the process itself. After 15 years of work in DAHTheatre,while working on this performance, i was consciously resigned, disorganized and reserved. i was the contrary of what I usually am. But that opens thè question, what are ali thè things I am? How to surprise oneseif over and over again, and then through the years of work, offer it unobtrusively in every new performance? I connected the cynical, warm, and terribly unhappy Masha from Chekhov's Three Sisters with rituais of tea and the witnesses from the train 671 to Strpce, whiie I struggied through a huge textabout the ruined dvilizations thatformed the human race and yetwhich did so many GREAT and creative things for all of us. For all of us that have no strength to change anythlng in our lives, States, or this planet. All of us that either actlvely or"silently" particípate in wars. All of us that accept what we do not want, whiie time passes. 1 could have thè impulse to connect it all intellectually and thus justify it but I did not want that. I am an actress, and my task is to breathe inte, and breathe all these themes together. I had to find my way. Resigned, disorganized and reserved, without any plans how to put together my actors materials, one day in the silence ofthe performlng space, after many months of workon this performance, I suddeniy, all of a sudden UNDERSTOODIThis discovery was painfully simple, but in front of me. It led to the place of deep sorrow.The sorrow that paralyses, the sorrow of inheritance, the sorrow that stops us from buying that ticket and from"boarding that train"... or leave to the place of our dreams,the sorrow that makes you helpless, and thus making you a silent witness of a crime. That very moment of UNDERSTANDING is the place in an artistic process where a change happens in an actor, where the WAY of being in the performing space is discovered. In thè moment when I am writing this, a month before thè premier, the process is still happening, it is painful, thè director composes her story, different themes connect inte one, and I attentively quiver over thè performance. I am cairn in the discovery of something completely new that has overeóme my whole being.

Maja Mitic